As though we didn’t have enough to worry about with challenges from the economy, foreign affairs, war, jobs, immigration, and politics, do we really need the burden brought about by relationships? I’m talking about those connections with friends, family, loved ones, neighbors, and co-workers. They’re certainly many and varied, demanding skills and strategies that many of us have not been exposed to.

One of my favorite philosophers said it best, and his advice has led me through a myriad of relationship challenges over the years. The philosopher: Kenneth Donald Rogers, better known as Kenny Rogers. The message: “Know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em!”

The following anecdote may better explain the power of choice we each possess and the need to utilize it wisely.

SAND & STONE

A story goes that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the pool and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Take time to live! Value who you have in your life.

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.

How many times have we heard the old adage about successful partnerships having to be 50/50? Seems like forever. However, if we’d take just a moment to pause and really think about it … we’ve been misguided!

Relationships are crucial to our survival in today’s chaotic global environment. It might be you and a spouse or significant other, friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, your boss or even your customers. Relationships are with us every day in every way.

While 50/50 sounds logical, let’s examine a new approach. What happens if we change the equation to 100/0. Absolutely! We can control our side of the relationship and commit totally to communication, loyalty, support and the many necessary components of any good relationship. What if we take full responsibility for the relationship and expect absolutely nothing in return?

Before we know it, the other person in our relationship recognizes our commitment and contribution, appreciates it and identifies it as unique in today’s world and chooses to take responsibility as well. All of a sudden our 100/0 relationship transforms into a 100/100!

Once this has occurred, think of the possibilities and breakthroughs for those involved! We’re talking life-changing experiences evolving from what was originally a 50/50 relationship. Now we’ve doubled our commitment and the positive consequences are endless! What a concept …

50/50 to 100/0 to 100/100. Give it a shot! The results could change your life!

What a concept … check out this video for additional insight.

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.

Last week, I shared the video of Harry Chapin singing his song that has touched millions of parents worldwide — “Cat’s in the Cradle.” In that song, he ponders, with regret, decisions he made early in his days as a parent and how they have impacted the relation with his child years later.

I also mentioned that I heard this particular song, I believe by design, during a midnight drive home from the airport after one of my many speaking trips. It so touched me at the time that I pulled my car into a rest area, grabbed a legal pad from my carry-on, and jotted down some personal thoughts in the form of a poem. I certainly don’t claim to be a poet but that exercise was very cathartic for me at that time and led me to make a few much-needed life-changing decisions. You might want to do the same.

“Life on a Lake”

I was born and raised on the shore of a lake …
With memories abundant and fond.
It’s a wonderful place to live your life …
And, oh, so easy to bond—

With the sun and the water,
The sky and the breeze …
It provides you a life
Of contentment and ease.

As the stress of my work-a-day life would increase,
I’d just head for home where I could release
The stress and the strain and the burdens of life
At home by the lake where there’s simply no strife!

Now my kids have all grown
And moved on as they must …
I just hope that some day
They’ll develop the lust …
To live on an ocean, a river, or lake
And appreciate life and all that’s at stake.

They come back to visit whenever they can
But usually can’t stay too long.
They must return to their now busy lives
Of which I’m just a small part—right or wrong.

I can’t critique—I’ve been there, done that,
I modeled that life for them.
So I can’t complain, I must let them gain
The knowledge, experience, and whim.

That will lead them to know, it’s okay to go slow
And enjoy the pleasures they share
With children, spouses, family and friends …
Life’s joys which are truly so rare!

Dad – 1999

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.

It’s somewhat ironic that I seem busier today than I have been at any time in my life … and yet I find more time for reflection than ever before. I guess it’s because I make the time to do so, realizing its importance at this point in my life.

I was a DeeJay very early in my career and had the privilege to be exposed to some fantastic artists and unforgettable music as a result. One of the great artists of our times is seldom recognized by name today but his classic tale of parental regret is known and appreciated by millions.

Harry Chapin shared the kind of songs that forced listeners to stop, reflect on their past, and ponder their early decisions in life. He did just that with his classic “Taxi” and again with his story of “W.O.L.D.” However, he’s best known for his 1974 folk rock masterpiece we know as “Cats in the Cradle.” Many of us felt he wrote that song with us in mind because it so vividly reflects our lives and emotions.

This Boomer favorite impacts most every generation today in our chaotic journey to survive and thrive in a very challenging society. The touching and heartfelt lyrics are certainly open to interpretation as many hear them through the ears of their childhood remembering their parents, others through the ears of a parent regretting earlier decisions to chose career over family as there appeared to be no choice, and others, ironically find themselves in the present … praying their children won’t make the same mistakes.

Listen to the lyrics below and pause for a moment to reflect. You may want to share this classic ballad with family or friends in hopes of gaining some valuable insights to the challenges we face throughout our lives. I hope it does for you what it did for me and many others I’m sure.

I personally did just that back in 1999 after hearing this song on the radio coming home alone from the airport. Circumstances were such at that time that I needed to hear that message. I was so impacted by those haunting words that I pulled my car into a rest stop, grabbed my legal pad out of my carry-on and wrote a poem — 8 verses in fact. And I am the farthest thing in this world from a poet. But that exercise was very cathartic for me and led me to make a few much-needed life-changing decisions. I’ll share that poem in my next blog article.

One can only speculate how many other classics may have emerged from the heart and soul of Harry Chapin had he not perished in a tragic car accident at the young age of 38 on the way to perform a free concert in New York.

This song will live on as long as there are parents and children.

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.

I have a very close friend who is devoted to animal rescue. I have several others who are strongly supportive of this growing movement. Funny thing about these people … can’t really put my finger on it but you can’t help but notice a certain glow about them … a zest for life, a desire to support, a willingness to go the extra mile while already dealing with busy lives and challenges of their own. They have a unique gift of understanding, and the world is better for it.

It reminds me of a touching story of a farmer, a young boy and a dog.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the four pups and nailed it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a wide-eyed little boy.

“Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.”

“Well,” the farmer said, “these pups come from fine parents and cost a great deal of money.”

The little boy dropped his head for a moment … then, reaching deep into his pocket, pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. “I’ve got 39 cents. Is that enough to take a look?”

“Sure,” said the farmer, and with that he let out a whistle. “Here Dolly!” he called. Out from the dog house and down the ramp ran Dolly, followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence, his eyes dancing with delight. He suddenly noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly, another little ball of fur appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then, in a somewhat awkward manner, the little puppy began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.

“I want that one,” the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down to the boy’s side and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He’ll never be able to run and play with you like the other puppies would.” With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so, he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg, attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, “You see, sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup and holding it carefully, he handed it to the little boy. “How much?” the excited young man asked.

“No charge,” said the farmer. “There’s no charge for love!”

The world is full of people and animals who need someone who understands. Be that someone.

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.

I love and appreciate the responsibility and opportunity of mentoring today’s young people. However, I often find examples that so many of today’s younger generations are setting examples that we, as their seniors, should certainly emulate.

Two years ago I wrote an article for our blog that embodies the elements of a great example. Just recently, a new video has been produced to tell the story of true sportsmanship as illustrated by two girls’ Division II softball teams from the state of Washington.

It’s an inspirational story that should be required viewing for ANYONE and EVERYONE taking parts in ANY sport today … as a player, official, coach, fan or parent. It should be shown in every school from coast to coast at the start of every school year. It earned an ESPY Award for individual and team athletic achievement and other sports-related performances.

You and I can do little, if anything, to orchestrate such a required viewing on such a large scale. However, if you have a child, grandchild, nephew or niece, neighbor or friend who loves sports, they NEED to see this video and hear this message. That you can and should influence. Better yet, invite the entire family to watch it together and then discuss it afterwards. You’ll be glad you did … for those you gathered as well as yourself! You’ll also feel better about life itself … which is a real accomplishment in these times.

The blog article I wrote will provide you with all of the details and background for this very unusual story should you desire to read it or pass it on. However this new 6-minute video will reveal the entire episode from start to finish leaving you in tears and filled with hope and appreciation for the young people of this great country. Please view it and pass it on… maybe even to a local coach or school administrator. We all need to see more messages like this one.

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of motivational speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management.  For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2MAX or fill out our contact form.